Just Like That and You Were Gone
by xWitchAtHeartx
Summary: Eli goes off to War, promising Clare that he will be back. But when he doesn't and everyone assumes that he's dead, Clare lose's all faith.
1. Just

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. Okay people? I don't!**

**~~~x-Just-x~~~**

"I have to go back."

"Just like that?" I asked, tears forming in my eyes.

"You knew this was gonna happen." Eli said.

"I was kinda hoping it wouldn't. I was hoping that when you came home you would realize how much you missed me and you would never leave."

"I don't want to leave. But I have to help people Clare." He said, pulling me into a hug.

"Then help people by becoming a doctor or a firefighter! You're not helping anyone, if you get killed. Its War, Eli. The thought of never seeing you again crosses my mind, everyday!" I yelled, and he winced.

"But you know that's not true. You'll see me soon." He said.

"Soon? Your going away for a year! How is that soon?"

"We'll write each other. Like we've been doing." He said.

"I can't do this anymore Eli. I eventually want to get married and have kids. How can we do that if you keep re-inlisting?" I asked, slowly letting the tears fall.

"I just want to help people." He whispered.

"Even if it means you hurt me?" I asked and I could tell by the look on his face that the words hurt him.

"I don't ever want to hurt you Clare." He said. I shook my head.

"Too late." I said and walked away.

"Why are you doing this?" He yelled at me.

"Because I love you!" I yelled back.

"Then why can't you wait?"

"Wait? Eli I'm 25! I just watched my best friend get married! Adam and Fiona are engaged! And here I am waiting for the day we start our lives together!"

"Clare I love you! I'll be back, I promise. I'll be fine." He said, grabbing my hand.

Eli Goldsworthy broke that promise. He didn't come back.

**~~~x-One Year Later-x~~~**

"Hey Clare." Alli said and I nodded my head.

"Hey." I muttered.

"Your hair has gotten longer. Are you going to cut it?" She asked.

"Eli liked my hair short, so no I'm not gonna cut it." I said, lighting up a cigarette.

"You smoke now too?"

"Look you said you wanted to meet me here. Here I am, I don't need you to judge." I said, she shook her head.

"Clare he could still be out there and alive. They were never sure if he died."

"Then why hasn't he come back, Alli?" I asked.

"You look so different. Your eyes are grey and lifeless. Your skin looks dry, you smell like boos and smoke. I want my best friend back." She said.

"And I want the love of my life back, but we can't all get what we want." I said getting up.

"Clare wait I'm sorry." She said, grabbing my arm. I looked at her. My best friend, the girl I hadn't seen since Eli's fake funeral. It was fake because there was no body, which made it harder. I sat back down.

"How's Drew?" I asked.

"He's so amazing, me and him are trying to have kids and…" She stopped talking when she saw my face. Kids, that's all I wanted. "Clare I'm sorry."

"It's fine." I said, giving her my best fake smile.

"Adam says Hi, so does Fiona. They got married, they sent you an invitation but, um I guess you couldn't make it."

"Tell him I said sorry. But him getting married a month after his best friend died, really pissed me off." I said, putting out my cigarette.

"We were all pretty messed up after it. We all knew him Clare. You weren't the only one who lost him." She said, and I immediately stood up, knocking my chair over in the process.

"Your right, I wasn't. But, no one loved him like I did. Imagine having someone tell you that Drew was missing. " I said and walked off. She called my name but I ignored her.

When I got to my house I slammed the door and slid to the floor. I couldn't help the sobs that came out. I stumbled into the kitchen and went to the shelf and pulled down a bottle of Whiskey.

"My only friend…" I muttered.

**~~~x-The End-x~~~**

Author's Note: Well this is my new story. Don't worry Eclare will be in it. Its short but my next chapters will be longer. Tell me how you like it and If I should continue.

Charlotte.


	2. Like

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. Sniff. Sniff.**

**~~~x-Like-x~~~**

_Dear Eli,_

_Eyes. That's what I miss most about you. No, not your smirk, not your sarcastic comments, just your eyes. Because when I looked at them I could tell every emotion you felt. You always tried to hide it. That's what I hated most, the fact that you would hide everything from me. I wanted you to talk. But instead you made me happy every day. But I never asked if you were happy. Adam used to tell me that I was crazy if I thought for one minute that you weren't happy. You remember when we got into that fight about Julia? And I said I could never compete with a dead person. I don't know how anyone is ever going to be able to compete with you. The worst part is, I don't even know if you're dead. And that sucks. I like to look through the letters that we sent each other during the war. It makes me feel like you're still here. The feeling of you is slowly fading Eli. And I can't stop it. Your smell isn't on my sheets anymore, your brown hair isn't in my brush anymore, your boxers aren't in my hamper anymore. Your fading away, and it sucks. Every day I hope to God that your still alive. Every day I write a letter to you, I keep it in a box. You wanna know what the box Is called? My box of letters. Ha ha. Original right? I could imagine you smirking and rolling your eyes. Eyes. That was the whole point of this letter. It's so unlike me to go off topic. But it's hard to focus when you have a pounding head ache. Maybe I shouldn't have drank last night. But it makes me forget Eli. It makes me forget the pain I feel. The emptiness. _

_With Love,_

_Clare_

I folded the piece of paper and put it in the box. I put the box under my bed. When I stood up I felt complete dizziness wash over me. The doorbell rang. I slowly walked to get it.

"Adam what are you doing here?" I asked. He ignored my question and gave me a huge hug.

"I missed you." He said, pulling out of the hug. I smiled.

"I missed you too. Come in." I stepped out of the way to let him in.

"You hairs longer." He said.

"Your taller." I said, and it was true. I now had to look up to talk to Adam.

"Yea well it happens." He laughed. "Nice house."

"Adam you've been here a million times before. It's the same house I've been in since I was younger." I said, rolling my eyes. When my dad left, my mom became sick. I was in College so I couldn't help her, she died and left the house to me.

"I know, it's just I haven't been here in forever."

"Look Adam, I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the…" I started, but he held up his hand for me to stop.

"I know. I understand. I didn't want to have it so soon either, but you know Fiona. Everything was already planned. It took me a while to forgive you, but I placed myself in your position and imagined if it was Fiona who was missing."

"I should of came. I would have loved to see you smile as Fiona walked down the aisle."

"So how are things?" He asked, looking at all the pictures that hung on the wall. He stared at one of them. It was a picture of me and Adam on our graduation day with Eli in the middle with his arms wrapped around our shoulders. He then went to the next picture, it was of me and Eli holding hands, Adam was the one who took the picture.

"Things were so much easier back then." He mumbled.

"Yea they were."

"You smoke now?" He asked, pointing to the ash tray on the table.

"Yea, it helps me relieve stress." I said.

"Yea, when you get lung cancer, it's really going to relieve some stress." He said, sarcastically.

"Why is everyone always judging me?"

"Because we're worried about you, Clare! You're like a zombie. You only talk to us every few months!"

"I'm talking now, aren't I?"

"Your right. I'll drop it. So, how's work?"

"I write columns in a news paper, it's not really that interesting. How's work for you?"

"I work as Lawyer, what's interesting about that?" He asked and I laughed.

"How's Fiona?"

"She's good. She say's Hi."

"You wanna watch a movie?" I asked. He smiled and nodded. "You pick." I said pointing to the movies that were next to the TV.

"How about this one?" He asked. It was Orphan. It wasn't my movie, it was Eli's. I remember the night he brought it over….

_"Clare, please. You said I get to pick the movie!" Eli complained._

_"I didn't think you would pick that!"_

_"But it's really good." He pouted._

_"I heard it sucked."_

_"You can't always believe what you hear. If it gets too scary for you, I will turn it off." He said and I rolled my eyes._

_"Fine." I said, and he grinned. I wound up snuggling into his chest every single part._

_"This was your plan all along wasn't it?" I asked, my face was buried deep into his shoulder. My whole body was hugging him._

_"Oh you know me too well, Blue eyes."_

"Clare? Clare?" Adams voice, interrupted my thoughts.

"What?"

"You kind of dazed off for a minute." He said.

"Oh sorry. I was just thinking." I said and Adam sighed.

"I miss him too Clare." He said, pulling me into a tight hug. I allowed myself to start crying.

"Do you think he's alive?" I asked.

"I _know_ he's alive. And he's just waiting for the perfect moment to come and see us." He said.

"Don't get my hopes up, Adam." I said and he smiled.

"Eli's somewhere, I know he is."

"I see him everywhere, I look. It's scary. I just want him back."

"I see him everywhere too. But we have to move on Clare."

"I can't and I won't ever be able too." I said, shaking my head.

"That's what Eli said about Julia." He said, grabbing my hand. I pulled away.

"Eli knew Julia for 2 years. I knew Eli for 10. Don't compare me to Julia."

"I wasn't comparing you to anybody! I'm just saying that he moved on. You should too."

"Go." I said.

"What?" He asked shocked.

"I said go."

"You're losing all you friends, Clare. He's not coming back, get over it!"

"GET OUT!" I scream. My head pounds harder and harder. Adam gives me a nasty look, then leaves. I look at the pictures on the walls. And laughed.

"You promised you would be back." I muttered. In the picture Eli had a great big smile on his face. I punched the glass that held the picture intact. The frame fell to the floor.

"Shit." I said, looking at my knuckles that had small pieces of glass in them. The blood started seeping out, and I couldn't help but feel…calm.

**~~~x-The End-x~~~**

**Authors Note: **Whatcha thinking? I will have more memories of Eli, don't worry. Please review cause I need to know if it's good. I love Adam, do you love Adam? Love you all.

Charlotte


	3. That

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi and if I steal it you cant prove anything!**

**~~~x-That-x~~~**

_Dear Eli,_

_Do you know what today is? It's your birthday! Is it sad that I just wrote an exclamation point? I shouldn't be putting exclamation points. It's not supposed to be a happy day. I haven't talked to Adam. I think he's still mad at me. I've been talking to Alli. Guess what? She's Pregnant. You always wanted a baby. You actually wanted a baby girl, which is surprising. You wanted to name her Leah. Leah Lyn Goldsworthy. L.L.G. Ha ha. So guess what Alli wants me to do today? She wants me to go on a date. I don't think anyone understands how much it hurts. I feel like kidnapping Fiona and Drew, so Adam and Alli will feel my pain. But I don't want them too. I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy. I've got to go now, Alli's coming over. Happy Birthday, my love._

_Clare_

I put the letter neatly on top of all the other letters I wrote Eli.

"Clare! I know you're here so I'm coming in any way!" A girl screamed from downstairs. I recognized the voice and rolled my eyes.

"You know Clare, you should start locking that door. Someone could come in and…." Alli said, walking into my room.

"Clare, have you been crying?" She asked, pulling me into a hug.

"It's his birthday today Alli, do you expect me to be happy?" I snapped, pulling out of the hug.

"Clare, you don't have to go on this date." She said.

"Really?" I asked, hopeful. She gave me a face. "I'll try okay?" I asked and she squealed.

She ran into my closet and started rummaging through my clothes. I sat on my bed.

"Oh my god, Clare. You would think you would expand your taste." She said, pulling out a denim dress. I quickly stood up and ripped the dress out of her hands.

"I like it. Eli likes it." I said, putting the dress neatly back in my closet.

"Clare, why do you say things like that?" She asked.

"Say things like what?"

"Say things like 'Eli likes it'." She said. I was confused.

"What's wrong with saying Eli likes that dress?"

"Honey, Eli _liked _that dress."

"No," I said sternly. "Eli _likes_ this dress."

"Fine." She said, going back into my closet. I could feel tears in my eyes.

"Alli, you find me something to wear, I have to go somewhere. I'll be back." I said and she nodded.

**~~~x-Before Clare's Date-x~~~**

_Dear Eli,_

_2 letters in one day? I feel like I'm on a roll. I visited the Cemetery today. It was freezing out. Was it usually that cold in September? I hate Cemetery's. I always feel like I'm walking on the dead bodies below the dirt. I approached that specific Headstone. Your Headstone. The Headstone that was exactly the same as everyone else's. The Headstone that made you no different than the other dead people. Your Headstone is a lie. It says:_

_**Here Lies Elijah James Goldsworthy**_

_**Son**_

_**and**_

_**Friend**_

_It's a lie because you're not lying underneath all that dirt. It's just a casket filled with stuff that everyone thought you might like. I gave you your headphones back and the locket you gave me on our first date. I sometimes think that when you come back you're going to be wanting all that stuff back. I brought you a flower. A Lily. You said Lilies were your favorite flower. They were the 'perfect' flower, because they weren't too extravagant and they weren't too simple. I don't talk to you when I visit because, once again, you're not really there. Well there was of course a reason for this letter. I'm going on that date. I need someone to fill the void that's in my heart. No, Goldsworthy, that doesn't mean I'm not gonna wait for you. I just need a friend. I can't be alone forever._

_Always,_

_Clare_

"Clare, what are you doing?" Alli asked, eyeing the letter in my hands.

"Nothing." I said, folding the letter and putting it in the box.

"You write letters, but don't mail them out?"

"I have no one to mail them too." I said, emptiness in my voice.

"You write to him? Clare this obsession is getting a little out of control."

"Obsession? You think I was obsessed with Eli? I loved him!" I screamed, Alli started to say something but I ignored her and ran into my bathroom.

"Clare! Clare, I'm sorry!" She said, banging on the door. I wiped away the mascara that was running down my face. I closed the lid on the toilet and sat down. I eyed the razor that was sitting on the ledge of my bathtub.

_Clare, get a hold of yourself. Cutting isn't the answer._

I ignored the voice in my head, screaming at me not to touch that razor. I picked up the razor and looked at it carefully. Alli was still banging on the door. I pressed the razor to my wrist, hard. I watched as blood started seeping out. I began to feel woozy. Before I knew it I was on the floor and all I heard was a high pitched scream and my name.

**~~~x-x~~~**

_"I'm joining the Army." He muttered._

_"The Army?" I repeated._

_"Yea."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because I want to help people." He said, wiping the tears that were falling down my cheeks. "Please don't cry."_

_"You can get hurt."_

_"But I won't, I'll be fine." He said, cupping my cheeks in his hands. I was forced to look him straight in the eye, when I didn't want to._

_"Your sure about this?" I asked. He nodded. "Well then, I can't stop you."_

_"Clare, your mad." He said, and I pulled away from him._

_"You expect me to be happy? The fact that you can die at any second? I don't want to get a letter or a phone call one day telling me your dead." _

_"It'll be okay, I'll be fine."_

**~~~x-x~~~**

_"Here." Eli said, taking his skull ring off his finger and handing it to me._

_"Why are you giving me this?"_

_"You have to promise that you won't move on." He said, sadness in his voice._

_"How can I move on? I love you to death Eli." I said, and he pulled me into a tight hug._

**~~~x-Hospital-x~~~**

The blinding light that I faced when I opened my eyes was unbearable. The pain in my arm was too. When my eyes adjusted to the light, I looked around the room.

"Ugh, where am I?" I mumbled.

"Hospital." A cold voice said. I looked to my side to see Alli, she looked disgusted. She had dry tear stains on her face.

"What happened?"

"How does it feel Clare?" She asked.

"How does what feel?"

"How does it feel to be a 'statistic'?" She asked, standing up. I felt so confused.

"What are you talking about?"

"More than 10 million people in the world try to kill themselves every day. Your one of them." She said.

"Alli calm down." I said, she looked like she was going to kill someone.

"Guess what? You're on Suicide watch, _again_!"

"I'm sorry." I tried.

"You're sorry? Didn't you learn the first time? Downing a bottle of pills was one thing. But slitting your wrist is whole different story!" She had fresh tear streaming down her face. I didn't know what to say.

"Adam came in here screaming about how bad of a best friend I was. And that I let you try to hurt yourself again! Do you know how that made me feel?"

"I just want him back Alli! I can't take it anymore! No one is helping me! I can't move on, he was my life Alli. My whole life! I gave everything I had to him! And I just want him back…" Tears were now coming down my face.

"I'm done, Clare. I'm so done." She said and walked out.

"Fuck." I muttered, wiping the tears from my face. I looked at my wrist. It was all bandaged up.

_Dear Eli,_

_I'm a statistic again! I make it sound like it's a good thing. This Hospital bed hurts my ass, and this dress feels like paper. God what I would do for a cigarette. I bet your mad at me for trying to kill myself again. I bet you were mad the first time I tried. I didn't mean to kill myself the first time. Who knew you could die by downing a bottle of pills and some Vodka?...Deep down I did. Cutting makes me feel numb and it makes me forget. While I was unconscious I had dreams about the past. I still wear the skull ring, in case you're wondering. They gave me some new medicine, its making me kind of sleepy. So I'm going to go. I love you._

_Clare_

**~~~x-The End-x~~~**

**Authors Note: Crazy shit huh? Well I'm sorry for the wait. Writers block sucks ass. Love you all and please review.**

**Charlotte**


	4. You

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.**

**~~~x-You-x~~~**

"Why'd you do it?" Adam asked, tears in his eyes.

"I can't live without him, Adam." I said.

"You can't keep doing this." He said, picking up my bandaged wrist and examining it. I pulled away.

"I'll do whatever it takes to make the pain go away." I said, sharply.

"Yea, well, you're on suicide watch. And guess who's here to watch you?" I rolled my eyes when he said this.

"I'm not a child."

"Well, your acting like one. Grow up, Clare. And stop using your wrists as your own personal cutting board." He said, disgusted. Adam got up and walked around my bedroom.

"You really are just a ball of sunshine, aren't you?" I asked, sarcastically.

"And you are?"

"Don't you have a life?"

"Yea I do. But I have to spend it here so I don't have to plan another funeral!" He yelled.

"You're so fucking dramatic."

"Yea and you're a bitch." He spat. Anger boiled inside of me.

"Go jump off a cliff."

"Maybe I fucking will! Then you kill yourself, and then the golden trio will all be together again!" He yelled. He sat down on the edge of my bed and put his head in his hands.

"Are you crying?" I asked, shocked. He looked up, tears were pouring down his face.

"When…Alli…called me. She said you slit you wrists. I thought the worst. I thought you were dead. I can't lose you Clare. You're my best friend." He cried. And I crawled over to him and put my arm around him.

"I'm right here. Shh. Stop crying." My heart was breaking.

"I need you to move on, Clare. You're like a walking, talking, zombie."

"I can't, Adam. I will never be able too. So stop asking me to do the impossible." I said, retracting my arm. He nodded.

"Clare?"

"Yea?"

"I love you to death, you know that right?" He asked. I nodded. "I'm going to get something to eat. You want anything?"

"No thanks." I said and he walked out.

_Dear Eli,_

_I made Adam cry. How many times have we seen Adam cry? Once or twice? It broke my heart. It was like seeing you cry. You never cry. Maybe I should start talking in passed tense. Apparently, the police are still looking for you. You can be lying in a ditch somewhere and no one would know. Lovely, right? Adam is my suicide watcher. Fun. Well, I think I hear Adam coming back from getting some food. I love you._

_Clare_

"Dude, you have nothing to eat. I searched that whole kitchen. Lets order something." He said, plopping down on my bed.

"Yea sure, just let me go to the bathroom." I said.

"Clare…" He said, giving me a look.

"I have to pee, Adam. Would you like to join me?" I asked and he shook his head.

"Don't do anything stupid."

**~~~x-Adam's Point Of View-x~~~**

I looked to where Clare had been sitting before, and I saw a box. I looked toward the bathroom door to make sure Clare was still in there. I picked up the box.

"My box of letters?" I snorted. Original. I opened the lid to see hundreds of letters all with the same name on them. _Eli._ I opened the one at the top and read it through. She writes to him?

"What are you doing?" A voice asked, startling me and making me drop the letter.

"I was umm…"

"Looking through my stuff? Adam that's private!" She said, picking up the letter and putting it back in the box.

"You write to him?"

"I don't write to him, I just put my feelings on paper." She said, pushing the box underneath her bed.

"Let him go, Clare." I said.

"I can't!" She screamed, sobs wracking her body. I pulled her into a hug.

"We'll start off small, okay?" I asked and she nodded. "Why don't we go get your haircut?"

"Okay." She mumbled.

**~~~x-The Dot-x~~~**

"I missed having short hair." I said, shaking my curly hair. Me and Adam sat down outside the Dot.

"You look better." Adam said, a small smile on his face. I pulled out my carton of cigarettes and Adam takes them away.

"What the hell?"

"Small steps. Smoking is one of them. While you were getting your hair done, I went to the Drug store and got you Nicotine Gum." He said, pulling out a box and handing it to me.

"You have got to be kidding me."

"Nope. And I also cleaned out all the liquor in your cabinets."

"Your ruining my life, Adam." I said and he shook his head.

"No, I'm making it better."

**~~~x-Clare's House-x~~~**

"Isn't Fiona gonna be wondering where you are?" Clare asked.

"No, she's at Declan's condo in New York." I said, twirling the spaghetti around my fork.

"And you didn't go?"

"Your on Suicide watch, remember?" I asked and she rolled her eyes.

"I knew there was reason you have been following me around all day." She said, sarcastically.

"Funny."

"You know you could have gone. I would have gotten Alli to come and watch me."

"Are you forgetting that Alli hates you?" I asked.

"Oh yea." She let out a forced laugh.

"Alli is our next small step, we're gonna take." I said.

"She's done with me. Didn't I tell you?"

"Pregnancy hormones." I said.

"No I think she's seriously done with me. Apparently, trying to kill myself twice is a bad thing." She said with an eye roll.

"Really? I thought it was a good thing!" Clare hit me in the arm.

"Hey, I'm the only one allowed to make smart ass comments." We laughed. The phone started ringing and Clare didn't move.

"No sit down your highness, let me get the phone." I said sarcastically. She laughed.

"Hello?"

**~~~x-Clare's Point of View-x~~~**

I watched Adam's facial expressions. It went from happy to sad and to shocked. He hung up the phone. He seemed to be unable to move.

"Adam? Who was it?" I asked, standing up.

"They….they found Eli."

**~~~x-The End-x~~~**

**Author's Note: **Who's a bitch? I'm a bitch! Thanks for all the reviews. I love you all to death no joke. And follow my twitter Witch_At_Heart. REVIEW!

Charlotte


	5. Were

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi in any way shape or form. But I do own your face. It wasn't really worth the money I spent on it. I should have realized how ugly your face was before I wasted that penny. (Insert Lol JK face here)**

**~~~x-Were-x~~~**

"Miss. Edwards you need to calm down." The Doctor warned her. Clare's breathing started to calm down and so did mine.

"Where is he?" Clare asked.

"You can't see him." The Doctor said.

"I didn't ask if I could see him or not. I asked where he was." Clare said, venom spewing out with her words. The Doctor looked shocked.

"What happened to him? Where'd you find him?" I asked.

"He somehow got lost and was, I'm guessing, searching in the Desert for days. Probably got dehydrated. Some people found him, took care of him I guess." The Doctor shrugged.

"So why is he here? How did he get here?" Clare asked.

"He looked ill. The other Soldiers found him, they sent him on a plane back here."

"None of this makes sense." I said and the Doctor shrugged again.

"I need to see him." She said.

"Ms. Edwards you can't…."

"I need to see him." She said, cutting him off. He sighed.

"Room 213."

**~~~x-Eli's Hospital Room, Clare's Point Of View-x~~~**

When I walked into his room, I expected to see a pale lifeless corpse. I think it's because that's how I've imagined him all this time. But he didn't look like that. His face was all red, probably sunburn, and he was sleeping. He looked exactly the same. His hair was the same length it was in high school. I guess it grew out from the Buzz cut they made him get.

I hadn't moved from the doorway, my body wouldn't let me. I watched as his chest moved up and down. To know that he was breathing, made everything better. I slowly walked over to the seat by his bed. I grabbed his dried up hand. He stirred a little.

"Eli, it's been a while. Hasn't it? Do you know how happy I am right now? To know that you're alive?" Tears poured freely down my face. I let my head fall to the bed. I felt his hand squeeze mine a little.

I looked up in shock. Eli's eyes fluttered open, but he quickly shut them and groaned.

"Why the hell is that light so friken bright?" He asked. He sat up and starting rubbing his eyes.

"Eli?" I asked, softly. He stopped rubbing his eyes and looked at me. His green eyes piercing mine. I didn't wait for him to react, I sat on the bed and hugged him as tightly as I could. I felt him hug back, just as tightly.

"Clare." He whispered.

I pulled away and saw that he was crying.

"Why are you crying?" I asked, even though there were tears coming out of my eyes.

"I missed you," He said, pulling me into another hug. "so much."

I pulled out of the hug, again, and he cupped my face in his hands. He crashed his lips to mine. The feeling reminded me of when I was 15. His tongue grazed my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I parted my lips. Our tongues battled for dominance.

"10 years later, and seeing the two of you do that, still scares me." A voice said. Me and Eli broke apart. Adam was standing there smirking.

"Adam." Eli said. Adam smiled and walked over and gave Eli a hug.

"Dude your all red." Adam said, laughing. Eli rolled his eyes. "I called pretty much everybody. Half of them thought I was lying."

"Well obviously. Everyone thought he was dead. And staring at a grave for the past year, didn't really help anyone believe he was alive." I said.

"A grave?" Eli asked.

"Yea, we all buried some of the things you gave us." Adam said.

"Well, that wasn't nice." Eli said, smirking.

"Eli, where have you been?" Adam asked. Eli sighed.

"I got lost. I don't even remember how. All I remember is, traveling for days. I was starving, I think I fainted. Some people found me and they took care of me. I was staying there for months. They didn't have medical stuff, they didn't have phones, or internet. Somehow the troops found me. And here I am."

"That's it?" Adam asked. Eli laughed.

"What did you expect? Some life changing tale, on how I got kidnapped?"

"It doesn't matter. All that matters is that your okay." I said. Eli put his arm around me. Adam started rambling on about Fiona. Eli ran his hand up and down the back of my arm. He stopped and looked at my wrist. I pulled away quickly.

"Wha- what's that?" He asked, pointing to the deep gash in my wrist. It had only been 2 days since my suicide attempt. It still looked pretty bad.

"Umm, it's…"

"I'm gonna go call Fiona." Adam said, giving me a nervous smile and walked out.

"Clare what happened?" He asked.

"I cut myself." I said, looking down.

"Cut yourself, how Clare?" He asked, softly.

"With, uh, a razor."

"Clare! Are you serious? Your tried to kill yourself?" He yelled. I stood up. He attempted to get up and groaned in pain.

"I didn't try to kill myself."

"So what? The razor just happened to slip and cut you on the wrist?"

"I thought you were dead! People kept telling me to move on! Alli wanted me to go on a date! Eli I couldn't take it anymore!" I screamed, more tears pooling out of my eyes.

"So killing yourself was the answer?" He yelled, I sat down on the chair and put my head in my hands.

"How many times?" He asked.

"How many times what?"

"How many times did you try to kill yourself?" He asked, I ignored him. "Clare! How many times?"

"Twice? Okay?" I screamed.

"How?" He asked.

"Your questions are annoying me, Eli." I said, tugging on my hair.

"How, Clare?"

"I slowed down a bunch of pills with alcohol."

"I can't believe you did that." He said.

"Forgive me for being depressed." I said, sarcastically.

"I'm not mad about that, it's just….What if you had succeeded? And I came back. You wouldn't be here."

"Eli I'm sorry. I didn't think….."

"I love you, Clare." He said, cutting me off. I grabbed his hand and interlaced our fingers.

"I love you too, Eli."

**~~~x-The End-x~~~**

**Author's Note:**

Told you he would be back. Sorry for the shitty explanation on where he went. I couldn't think of a better way to bring him back. Which is why this chapter was so late. I literally sat here staring at the blank document for hours. And of course Twitter didn't help. The next chapter is the last chapter. I know so sad. But I'll be spending more time on 'How Far is that Apple from that Tree'. If you haven't read Unholy, read that and then read How far is that Apple. Eli will probably find the letters Clare wrote to him in the next chapter. Maybe I'll skip some time. I don't know. Okay I love you all. Please review. And if it sucks I'm sorry. Oh and follow me on twitter Witch_At_Heart. Warning, I say the word Whore a lot.

Charlotte

PS. Read the Disclaimer, I think it's funny.

PPS. The hair thing. When people are in the Army they have to cut their hair. So just imagine it grew back.

PPPS. I told you I suck at writing make out scenes. They make me blush. That's just not my strong point. Kay? So no making fun of me.

PPPPS. Read my new one-shot. It's called, 'From Persons Point Of View'

PPPPPS: LOL JK, I'm just doing this to annoy you.

PPPPPPS: Is it working? XD


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